Webkinz Account Marks Beginning of Second Grader’s Battle with Internet Addiction
By: Constance T. Nopel TAMPA, FLORIDA- After receiving a Darling Dino Plush for her eighth birthday, second grader Abigail Willis reportedly created her first Webkinz account, not knowing that this…
Last Minute Flipside-Approved Halloween Costume Ideas
By: Flipside Staff According to a recent poll, as many as 30 percent of Americans have yet to pick out their Halloween costumes this year. We here at Hoosier Flipside…
Arboretum Dug Up for World War One Reenactment
By Pink Freud Students, faculty, and several Balkan nation states have been up in arms over the lack of access to the arboretum. In commemoration of the 100th anniversary of…
Victim of Cannibalism “Asking for It” by Looking Tasty
By: Penny C. Bubblegum A young man in a white tank top that was consumed last night at a house party is now being accused (post-mortem) of causing his own…
Hydrated Area Man Proud When Pee is Clear
By: Constance T. Nopel NOBLESVILLE, IN— Following an exhaustive workout at his local gym, Stan Heighway, hydrated man of thirty-three, reportedly felt a twinge of pride for his nearly transparent…
Post-Apocalyptic Area Woman Still Maintains Beauty Regimen
By: Constance T. Nopel BARREN WASTELAND, EARTH— Elated upon discovering a still usable, pink Gillette razor under the radioactive rubble of Washington Monument, area woman Jane Shales told reporters she…
Alpha Tau Omega Hosts Philanthropy Event to Help Struggling Girls Pay for College
By: Bismo Falcor BLOOMINGTON, IN—Last week, Alpha Tau Omega melted everyone’s hearts by helping struggling women pay their way through college in a recent philanthropy event. In regards to this…
Unhoused Freshmen Form Subterranean Society
By: Pink Freud It has been several weeks since students returned to IU Bloomington to find a shortage of living space and a glut of incoming students. To compensate for…
IU Welcomes Wingdings Cultural Center
*We apologize on behalf of Wordpress on its prejudice against the Wingding history and its people, as evidenced by the website's refusal to accommodate their culture and language.* By: Pink…
Scientists Find Alternative Universe Where You’re Not Such An Asshole
By: Flip Flipoutski Jubilance swept across the world as researchers at the newly reopened Large Hadron Collider discovered a parallel universe where you are not such a massive prick to…