BREAKING: School of Global and International Studies To Host Oppressive Dictator Speaker Series
By: Fredrick Venus BLOOMINGTON-- Beginning in April, Indiana University's SGIS will be hosting a slew of dictators from around the world in a speaker series entitled, “Fists of Iron, Hearts…
BREAKING: Senate Passes Bill to Arm Teachers to Fight Against Radical Student Factions
By: Mack E. Velli Washington DC - In the midst of mass destabilization of school zones around the nation, Senator Dan Puppet (R - Virginia) has introduced a bill with…
Carmel to Become One Giant, Sentient Network of Roundabouts
By: Jonathan Pollock CARMEL, IN - At a news conference earlier today, Carmel mayor James Brainard announced his plan to make his city into one gigantic self aware network of roundabouts…
Open Letter to the IDS
Dear Indiana Daily Student, Recently you published a column titled “Kinsey Confidential answers a question about eating ejaculate” where the subject matter of eating one’s own semen is discussed. Seeing…
Conservatives Bail Out Toys R Us in Fight Against War on Christmas
By: Justin TruBRO WASHINGTON – Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Kentucky) called an emergency session late Wednesday night to allocate $5 billion in order to save Toys R Us, aiding…
North Korea Momentarily Invades South Korea to Retrieve Kim Jong Un’s Lost Soccer Ball
By: Bismo Falcor Rising tensions between North Korea and the entire rest of the world came to a head yesterday after the lonesome nation momentarily invaded its southern neighbor in…
Planned Parenthood Funding Cuts to Spark Growth in Mom and Pop Abortion Clinics
By: Mack E. Velli BLOOMINGTON, IN -- Following the Senate's recent passing of a bill to defund Planned Parenthood, many Bloomington store owners are considering opening up back-alley abortion clinics…
America’s Leading Climate Scientists Found Bound and Gagged in White House Closet
By: Joe King WASHINGTON, - Several of the nation’s top climate scientists were discovered tied up and gagged in one of the closets of the White House early Friday morning.…
Collins Holds Honorary Inauguration for Bernie Sanders
By: Joe King BLOOMINGTON - Flipside has just received word that, in accordance with Donald Trump’s inauguration as president of the United States, the Collins Living-Learning Center will also be…
OP-Ed: I’m Pissed So Many People are Put in Jail Because It’s Ruining My Dating Prospects
By: Hermynn Bae Wells As I sit on Tinder for the fifteenth time today, contemplating the possibility of sleep, my fingers tremble with each swipe. The “New Match!” orange graphic…