New Central European Transportation Plans Announced
By: Phil Concerns have been raised over a recently announced high speed rail line between Berlin and Warsaw. Many in Poland feel that the connection is far from necessary. The…
Your Ted Cruz Horoscope
By: Hermynn Bae Wells After finding out that Ted Cruz was (allegedly) the Zodiac killer, we read the stars. Here's what we found: Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19 As…
Rookie Military Drone Pilot Impatiently Waits For Batteries To Charge
By: Mike “MC Grandmaster DJ Kool” Jones Having recently graduated from the Air Force Academy’s drone operation program, earlier today Lieutenant Kyle Bradshaw frustratedly waited for the batteries on his…
50 Girls Who Rejected Me in High School
By: Bismo Falcor Today, the Denver Broncos take on the Carolina Panthers in what could very well be one of the greatest match-ups in NFL history. In honor of Super Bowl 50,…
National Over-Sized Jersey Shortage Leaves Local Sorority in Panic
By: Mike “MC Grandmaster DJ Kool” Jones Following another busy rush season, sporting goods manufacturers have been unable to keep up with the constant demand of oversized sports jerseys. “It’s like…
Reflecting on the Packers/Cardinals Game
Before the conference finals, let’s take a moment to reflect on last Sunday’s match-up between the Green Bay Packers and the Arizona Cardinals, which was arguably one of the craziest,…
Lesser-Known College Football Bowl Games
By: Bismo Falcor Although we are nearing the end of the bowl season, there are still plenty of great games that aren’t getting much media attention! Here are some that…
Donald Trump Demands Dora the Explorer Pay for Whimsical Obstacles
By: Pink Freud The latest GOP debate was sparked with controversy when Republican populist, Donald Trump, demanded that beloved Nick Junior icon, Dora the Explorer, pay for the whimsical obstacles…
Webkinz Account Marks Beginning of Second Grader’s Battle with Internet Addiction
By: Constance T. Nopel TAMPA, FLORIDA- After receiving a Darling Dino Plush for her eighth birthday, second grader Abigail Willis reportedly created her first Webkinz account, not knowing that this…