The Best Places on Campus to Take Cover During an Earthquake
By: Sutton Lee Seymour and Bismo Falcor This past week’s earthquake drills reminded us that at any moment, tectonic plates can just say “fuck it,” and start moving around to…
Open Letter to the IDS
Dear Indiana Daily Student, Recently you published a column titled “Kinsey Confidential answers a question about eating ejaculate” where the subject matter of eating one’s own semen is discussed. Seeing…
Bus Rider Too Nervous to Pull Bell Takes Three Extra Laps Around Campus
By: Moccasin Jerry and Robben DeCash BLOOMINGTON, IN - Last Thursday, freshman Quincy Mathews was on his way to Hodge Hall from 10th and Woodlawn when he found himself unable…
Op-Ed: I Think I’m Falling for Mother Bear
By: Robbie McMichael BLOOMINGTON, IN – There I was, enjoying a typical evening at Mother Bear’s, when as I was reading the scrawny handwriting on the back of the booths, my…
Local Aspiring Hentai Artist Disappointed with Lack of Recognition in Graphic Design Class
By: Sutton Lee Seymour BLOOMINGTON, IN – Following a recent art project in Indiana University’s Graphic Design 101 class, student and aspiring hentai artist Chester T. Rutherford was reportedly dismayed…
McNutt Installs New Medical Emergency Wing
By: Kit Cather BLOOMINGTON, IN - In an effort to streamline the urgent care process, McNutt is looking to construct a new, state-of-the-art emergency medical wing attached to Bryan’s Kelley Living…
Calm Down, Brett: Four Ways to Remind Brett that it’s Just Intramurals
By: Gary Goldwater Brett is on another competition-induced rampage. He just proclaimed that if he had a time machine, he would use it to kill one of the referee’s distant…
IU Freshman Learns More in 3 Days in Cave than he will in 4 Years of College
By: Bismo Falcor and Aesthetic Danger BLOOMINGTON, IN - Following an ordeal that left him trapped in a cave for 3 days, local freshman Lukas Cavar was left pondering if…
18 Great Ways to Exploit Your Roommate’s Fear of Confrontation
You use their toothbrush, borrow their clothes, and haven't bought your own food in a month. That's a great start, but here are some other proven ways to make sure…
Area Student Refuses Newspaper the Right to Print His Picture
By: Sutton Lee Seymour BLOOMINGTON, IN – Last Friday night, Flipside reporter Mack E. Velli spotted a particularly interesting individual named William Cavanaugh, who denied a request to take his…