Segway Inc. Still Convinced They are Future of Transportation
By: Chip MountGummery and Bismo Falcor SILICON VALLEY - Despite the obvious fact that technological advancements in the field of transportation are occurring at an exponential rate, the executives at Segway…
McNutt Installs New Medical Emergency Wing
By: Kit Cather BLOOMINGTON, IN - In an effort to streamline the urgent care process, McNutt is looking to construct a new, state-of-the-art emergency medical wing attached to Bryan’s Kelley Living…
Dear Abbey…
DEAR ABBEY: My stepson keeps on bringing home hookers. That normally wouldn't be a problem, but they keep on stealing my blow. Not only do I find that just plain…
Calm Down, Brett: Four Ways to Remind Brett that it’s Just Intramurals
By: Gary Goldwater Brett is on another competition-induced rampage. He just proclaimed that if he had a time machine, he would use it to kill one of the referee’s distant…
IU Freshman Learns More in 3 Days in Cave than he will in 4 Years of College
By: Bismo Falcor and Aesthetic Danger BLOOMINGTON, IN - Following an ordeal that left him trapped in a cave for 3 days, local freshman Lukas Cavar was left pondering if…
18 Great Ways to Exploit Your Roommate’s Fear of Confrontation
You use their toothbrush, borrow their clothes, and haven't bought your own food in a month. That's a great start, but here are some other proven ways to make sure…
Conservatives Bail Out Toys R Us in Fight Against War on Christmas
By: Justin TruBRO WASHINGTON – Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Kentucky) called an emergency session late Wednesday night to allocate $5 billion in order to save Toys R Us, aiding…
Top 14 Features of the iPhone X
It's finally here! The phone we've all been waiting for since the last time we got a phone with marginally better features! Check out our list below of features that…
Area Student Refuses Newspaper the Right to Print His Picture
By: Sutton Lee Seymour BLOOMINGTON, IN – Last Friday night, Flipside reporter Mack E. Velli spotted a particularly interesting individual named William Cavanaugh, who denied a request to take his…
Local Student to Streamline Friend-Making Process by Just Buying Some
By: Jacopo Inboden and Bismo Falcor BLOOMINGTON, IN - After completely ignoring all of the university’s resources which allow students to make friends for free, local freshman Tim Bledsoe decided to…